This is probably going to be the shortest contribution to the blog, however my excuse is I’m finding this really difficult, but I wish to support my daughter in any way i can and like she says, this is to let other mums in my situation know that they are not alone, and the emotions we feel are normal.
No mum ever wants to hear their child tell them they’re ill. They certainly never want to be told it is Cancer that they have. That is what I faced two years ago, when Louise who is my only child came to tell me her diagnosis. I didn’t know she was poorly, she had gone through the torment of numerous tests without telling me. I guess this was to spare me the hurt and the pain. It hadn’t been long before that we had buried her Dad having lost his battle with Pancreatic Cancer. I remember when Louise and Steve, her husband, came to visit me, they sat me down, explained about the breast cancer diagnosis, and the plan the Doctors had for her treatment. In a typical Louise style she told me the news and put her own spin of positivity on it. She could beat this.
After they left me to go home, I cried. I cried a lot. Watching her drive off in the car to head home was difficult. As a mum all you want to do is protect your child, cradle them in your arms and take the pain away.
I watched as Louise progressed through her surgeries and then onto the Chemotherapy. I saw my daughter at her lowest, in pain, losing all her hair, and tried my best to help, staying with her and Steve to help in any way I could. I felt helpless.
After the treatment Louise has started to bounce back, she is back at work and working hard in her stressful job. She has worked hard all of her life and I admire that.
Not so long ago Louise and Steve came back again to see me. This didn’t seem like their usual visit… it felt like last time they came to deliver news… I thought she was going to tell me she was pregnant!!… But No… she had come to tell me that she was ill again. This time she sat me down and she told me her Cancer was back and that it was in her bones. Secondary breast cancer. She told me this time they had told her that she had five to ten years of life expectancy. My insides twisted and knotted up…
Again, in typical Louise style, she is facing this head on and is adamant she is not going to be beaten. She is determined she will beat this and is going to try and raise as much money as she can to help others. She is going to cycle the Coast to Coast, from Whitehaven to Sunderland. I don’t envy her and wouldn’t do this myself but I will be with her in spirit!!
Louise is all I have left. She is my only child and I love her dearly. Her Dad put up a brave fight but sadly Cancer got the better of him and the last thing I expected was for Louise to tell me she had it as well. All I can do is offer her my support and be there when she needs me. I visit as often as I can but sometimes with all of her appointments and her work it is difficult. She is trying to lead as normal a life as possible, but I know the drugs she is on hurt her and affect her blood count which makes her very tired all of the time and she struggles to keep going. The bike ride will be a huge achievement with her but she is determined and I have absolutely no doubt she will achieve it…. you see, she comes with my Stubborn genes!
I may be in my 70’s but I am keeping an eye on what she is doing to raise money on Facebook and her website www.tourdefriends.co.uk
I am so proud of her….