I think being a Patient, Victim, Warrior, Survivor, however you wish to label anyone who has or had cancer is the easier side of the coin so to speak.
We are on the hamster wheel, no option of getting off, or taking a breather, our lives revolve around, tests, procedures, appointments, consultants opinions or decisions and lap of the gods.
The support team however, are in my opinion the ones with the raw deal, the wives, husbands, daughters, sons, mothers, fathers and friends, all who have to witness this car crash happening, its almost like being strapped to a chair and being forced to watch the horror film play out, and not even able to shut your eyes!
I cannot imagine what it is like from the other side of the fence, so I cannot begin to feel or put myself in their shoes.
So I asked my nearest and dearest and anyone else willing to participate, if they would be prepared to put themselves out there, each write a piece that would provide an insight into how knowing/living with someone on the cancer journey has affected them, hopefully this may be relatable to so many and allow some to feel normal and not alone.
Over the next few weeks instead of me, the words will be coming from others,
my husband stepped forward to be the first one to open up, and I cannot thank all of them enough for being prepared to be exposed in such a vulnerable manner.
So tomorrow its over to Steve… Perspective #1 The Husband
Caught up in a war, where the opponent is a wicked silent assassin, intent on wreaking havoc and heartbreak on the lives of ordinary people. It doesn’t discriminate, warrior, carer, loved ones, all are fair game to seek, stalk and destroy in any number of ways. When the war is over, if its a ceasefire all are left with permanent scars, of doubt, anxiety and fear, not to mention the physical signs that invade and infringe on everyday life. However, if the war is lost, and the assassin is victorious, those left being find themselves standing in a wasteland of disbelief and despair, as if a nuclear bomb has dropped and wiped every single thing you knew or thought from the landscape you knew and loved so well. Ptsd comes calling, threatening what little peace of mind you can find from the remnants of peaceful thought that can be salvaged. Cancer ravages all in its path,for me, I’m still waiting for these green shots that every knowledgeable person tells me will appear. What do they know, sadly. Xx
Thank you Mandy for taking the time to read and to reply to the Blog post.
The pain of endless treatment, loss of the dearest in your life and helplessness is nothing but torture, its a time and experience no person should have to suffer, it breaks hearts, scars minds and changes the kindest people that may never speak of it. Both sides of the fence.
So hold your nerves and hang in there xxx
Thank you Jackie. Always a true friend… steve